Em & Lo's Sex and Love Horoscopes
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Keep yourself busy this week. And we don’t mean by re-organizing your sock drawer or making it a Blockbuster Night. Go out on the town, wine, dine, take in the sights, absorb some local culture, flirt, shake your groove thang, sing karaoke, make out in dark corners. You’re much hotter when you’re cooking something up than when you just order in.
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Whenever you’re feeling particularly broke, you can head over to your gourmet grocery store and nosh on all their free samples. Not only can you fill up on tasty snacks, but you avoid splashing out on some of the supermarket’s less successful culinary experiments. This week, let friendship be your equivalent of trying before buying. Get to know someone before putting your heart on the line. Otherwise, it could end up mashed in the blender like the unfortunate pureed pea dip you sampled last week.
gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
The stars say you don’t need to settle for someone who is still committed to someone else. We say you’re a whole hell of a lot better than any fence-sitting, lying, cheating jerk-face who can’t see that you’re just the cat’s meow who deserves nothing less than everything, including total devotion. So if there’s anyone like that in your life right now, hit the eject button…
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Em & Lo’s Sex and Love Horoscopes
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